Personal statement help?

Answers:1   |   LastUpdateAt:2012-10-21 20:00:02  

Question
misleydis
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Please can you read my personal statement and give me a yes or no answer. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus For some time I have been very intrigued by the analytical study of the complexities of the human brain, to help understand why we behave as we do; Psychology. I am looking to study psychology at grade level to improve my skills and allow me to pursue a career in psychology. MedlinePlus I would be an ideal student to study psychology and I'm very fascinated by the subject, so I'm very eager to learn, hardworking and really would love to learn more about it. I am currently studying English Literature, Economics and Psychology at a level so into all these issues I can improve both my writing and analytical skills, making me more articulate which is essential for a psychology degree. MedlinePlus My interest in psychology began when I started volunteering at my local YMCA with disabled children, I volunteered for about eight months collecting myself and vimpact vfifty award for volunteering more than 150 hours. Although it was only a volunteer gave me some responsibility, like me every day that I attended was given a son to care for, play with and make sure they were safe and happy. After volunteering for a while I became staff and given even more responsibility, I think a very rewarding and well enjoy it. I see many different children with a variety of disabilities such as autism and developmental delay global angelmens syndrome. Being around all different types of disabilities makes me wonder what each one does, especially mental disabilities such as autism and wonder why children behave as they do this. MedlinePlus In my experience of 10 years of work I spent a week in a store bathroom bookkeeper help, gave me tasks like updating prices on the system, enter invoices in the primary and backup system, and output to stock. This helped develop my math skills and analytically as I had to add up all the prices on invoices to ensure they are correct and thoroughly review all the information was correct. I also got smaller tasks like filing, cleaning and going to the shops to get the essentials. MedlinePlus I've also recently just got another job working at McDonald's drive through the airport of Gatwick, which is one of the busiest in the country, so I have to work very fast sometimes, working with people of all different origins and developing my communication skills have to work efficiently as a team. MedlinePlus When I started studying psychology at the university of my interest in the field grew even more, to learn about Freud and some of the theories he invented for fears of Juanito 'fascinated me and led me to research different theoretical and the many explanations of behavior. MedlinePlus In my high school that was chosen to be a prefect for me last year when I was given responsibilities for lunch staff in maintaining school standards in the hallways and be available to help younger students with any questions or concerns they had. I also received an award for my maths GCSE, as I achieved an excellent degree. MedlinePlus In my free time I enjoy socializing with my friends, going to movies, shopping and music. Although I have a hobby that I currently participate on a regular basis to spend most of my time in college or at work, I love working with children and spending time with them. I used to go horseback riding lessons regularly I thoroughly enjoyed and took part in a session of riding my week of activities at the university. MedlinePlus Once I finished my studies in psychology I would travel around the world, whether volunteering or doing internships or apprenticeships to help gain more experience in the field of psychology by then I hope to continue to pursue a career in psychology. At this point I would like so much to work with children in an educational setting or do a masters and specialize in a clinical field.
Answer1MadameAnswered at 2012-10-21 19:59:50
First, well done , is a very personal statement goo : D MedlinePlus if I was I took out the part about the GCSE mathematics as though I would be proud of him aswell if not a recognized award makes you sound a little stiff , sorry . MedlinePlus Part of working with children with disabilities is good , but try to connect more Phychology and explore different types of Phychology as when it sounds like your only interest . MedlinePlus Amend the part about your hobbies and only have time for work and college, as it sounds like the excuses given by itself , although I'm sure that is true , try to talk about what they would like to get involved with in college instead? MedlinePlus just my opinions as I am also applying , but I hope that any advice will be usfull for you .... good luck xx
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