What do you guys think of this college essay that i'm writing?

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People ask me why I chose the law or become a marine. The truth is that I made the decision back before he started high school. In my eighth grade year I was asked what was my aspiration in life. While everyone else gave similar responses as get rich and famous, I just said to help people. This aspiration would change over the years, but the core would remain the same.
MedlinePlus When I started 9th grade in high school I honestly did not have a plan for what to do after high school. I was missing assignments, failing tests, and was not taking school seriously. It was here that I developed a serious anger problem. The school was full of gratuitous violence, profanity endless, and less than perfect teachers. We think the year my anger rose to the point where you will focus on the last day. I made a goal that would go elsewhere my 10th grade year. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus My 10th grade year we ended up staying long, but that was not a problem for me. During the summer I decided that God was challenging through this school, and I always do things the hard way. This year I was more worried about what would happen after the 12th grade years. I had also taken an interest in the design of the game, after receiving the comments should think about the game instead of just playing. I joined a game program at McKinley Technology High School in Washington DC At first I thought it was a good race and you could probably get around all the math and still have fun. At the end of the course, however, I realized that my vocation was not the game design or any other career in the field of advanced mathematics. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I did some of my work harder in math classes, despite the fact that math my Achilles heel. In my last year of 9th grade I had completed my course of Algebra 1 with an A, so I thought I was competent enough. All this changed in my last year in grade 10 when I enrolled in geometry honors. I just kept a C average in that class, and I can honestly say it was one of the hardest classes I've taken so far. Never had transferred back to normal geometry, however, if I learn something I want to work for it. Of course I was challenged again when I got in grade 11, and requested the Algebra 2 course. The results were more or less the same. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus In 11 years of grade I went through a series of changes, both in the thread of my thoughts and in my career choices. During the summer had built an interest in psychology and so when the year began, it was with the idea that he would study to become a psychologist after I graduated. I also started taking my school work more seriously this year, which was one of the best I've had. It was the only year that I have been able to maintain a 3.0 GPA for all four quarters. This defiantly increased my mood and as he had gained control of my anger issues last year, I felt pretty good. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Near the end of the school year had probably spent most life changing experiences of my teenage life. My technology education teacher had invited one of his former students to talk to my class, her student was a Marine recruiter us. By the time we had finished, I did something I never thought I would do in my life, I was actually considering joining the armed forces. Although many people believe that I was being persuaded and deceived by the recruiter, the truth was that he had no hand in my decision. All my life I had been told to stay away from the military. The truth is that I was always interested in her. Every time I saw a commercial on television. I say to myself: "What would it be like to serve." MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I saw the documentary camp, stories of soldiers coming back course wounded or half mad, and those who do not return at all. None of that deterred me from going to join. It was the idea of ​​putting my life for children and ignorant peers who do not care to learn about the education that our forefathers fought so hard for us to have. Over time I realized that there were more than a few percent, and that I would help the country as a whole. Many people believe that we should not join the military, saying it is simply unnecessary violence and unchristian like. I do not understand is that without a military that would at the mercy of our enemies and our country would have lost many years ago when George Washington and the Continental Army refused to fight for our independence against Britain. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I became increasingly interested in the army after that day. I started studying everything from the ASVAB test score requirements for the type of bullet took m16 battle rifle. My excitement increases with every war documentary to see and read. I ended the year with a clear understanding of what my aspiration in life was. Not just to help people, my purpose is to protect the people of th
Answer1BlakAnswered at 2012-11-03 04:13:04
i just read the first two paragraphs honestly. colleges view hundreds of applications which means they view hundreds of essays
if your essay is that long then like me they are not gonna feel like reading the whole thing. shorten it a little bit. college essays should be between 250 and 500 words and should be no longer than 2 pages double spaced.
after you shorten it give it to your current english teacher and ask her to check the punctuation
then she will correct it for you and tell you what you did wrong and what you need to do and then you're done
this is how my school made us do our college essays and it made the process a lot easier
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